Notice: This interview does not actually exist because Wen is never interviewed at any point and even if he did he would probably make up a bunch of fluff and that would be the most cooperative he would be. Unless it was Maple-Ann. But assuming that he would cooperate with a random interviewer and be very honest, then this would be somewhat it would sound like.
For this I have chosen Peony Landernorm as the interviewer because she made it to the character list but I feel she's not been developed quite enough. So...she's now a journalism major, interviewing Wen for whatever reason. At the time of this nonexistent but envisioned interview, Wen would be 19 years old, some time after his third visit to the Heart of All Realms and his reunion with his family.
(Don't get it? It'll be explained hopefully)
Peony Landernorm (INTERVIEWER): Hello! First, could I have you spell your name?
Wisconsin (Wen) Tynan (INTERVIEWEE): That would be Wisconsin, W-E-X-K-W-A-N-X-Y-M, Tynan, D-I-N-A-M.
Peony: ...Haha, really funny.
Wen: mhm. [laughs] It's W-I-S-C-O-N-S-I-N and T-Y-N-A-N. But really, just call me Wen.
Peony: Thank you. And you are a pilot by trade?
Wen: Sure.
Peony: ...I suppose it can be a bit complicated. Why don't you tell us about your experience with the assassins on Earth?
Wen: Why don't you tell me about what you know about me first?
Peony: Well...I obtained a file on you from the agency in question and updated it later by various sources.
Wen: Well, obviously that file didn't tell you that mind-reading abilities aren't my forte. What's in that file?
Peony: Hrm. Let's just start general then. I understand most of your life was pretty solitary. Could you describe your acquaintances?
Wen: [pause]. You're right on that part; most of my life I spent on my own. [pause]. I don't remember anyone from before I was abducted, except this vague lady that I was getting milk for or something. Mrs. Samson I think. There was the short german girl I helped with her revolution, but I didn't really consider her a friend.
I flew the assassin Liam Osborne Wreke the most in my missions, but I didn't really like him. How do I describe him...stupid, arrogant...low tolerance for spinning...that's about it.
And that covers about the first 14 years of my life.
Peony: What about Violet?
Wen: Violet--oh. I met her later.
Peony: Oh! I was under the impression you met her briefly during one of your missions near Aldenzeve.
Wen: [thinks] no, no, damn, you're right! Yea, I met her and her brother Wyoming or something.
Peony: Utah.
Wen: I said Wyoming or something. Key word something. Anyways. The Kysons. And his girlfriend. Gillian Summers. I remember her. Every time I felt like someone was being a bitch or life was shitty I'd think of her and say, "Hey, at least you're not like her." She puts up with all this shit every day and doesn't have a clue what to do about it and ends up deluding herself. Sad really.
Peony: So, you feel pity for her?
Wen: Meh. Something between pity and scorn.
Peony: Ok then. What about after you found the first portal?
Wen: Well, I met Erin and Dennis of course. Erin Jenevive. Dennis Runth. They were my mentors. It wasn't too hard getting used to life with them either. They were assassins too and Erin's life is pretty similar to mine. We were both kidnapped as kids and trained to be deadly. And we're both Leth's. 'Course I didn't know until she recognized it and started training me. I still think it's destiny that we all met.
Peony: You have plans to meet up with them again now that you have directions to find them?
Wen: Yea. I also have a few things Erin wanted. From the Heart of All Realms. Yea.
Peony: Speaking of the Heart of All Realms, you found it quite a few times, didn't you?
Wen: More like accidentally stumbled upon, but yeah
Peony: When exactly were these times and what did you request from the Master each time?
Wen: The first time from earth, when I was about 14 and a half. I didn't exactly have anything I really wanted, so I just told her to close the damn portal and get me out of there. I ended up in Idyllen and ran into it again at 16, after I was separated from Erin and Dennis in a battle. I thought I would be able to find them again so I asked for Erin's name before she was kidnapped and mine as well. When I got back though, I couldn't find them and I ended up with that crazy group of cursed, asinine dolts. We finally succeeded last year. That was the only time I really "found" it. And I asked for my directions of course.
Peony: If they were "crazy, cursed and asinine dolts", why did you join their quest?
Wen: To be honest I didn't want to at first. But as we talked about it I figured I didn't have anywhere else to go and I was actually pretty curious where all those fools would end up. Something like that. And it promised me a chance to do what I knew best: flying and fighting.
Peony: So do you think these "dolts" count as your friends now?
Wen: Unfortunately, yes.
Peony: Unfortunately?
Wen: Five is five too many.
Peony:... Well, you admitted they were your friends already. Could you give me your impressions of them, then and now?
Wen: Yea. How do I start? Well, my first impression of Jing Long was a crazed Shadow chasing him. He seemed a bit clueless, but kinda "cute," as Dennis would say. He's really not that bad. He's really compassionate, and though I think that's more of a weakness, he kind of held the group together. Which I don't exactly approve of, but I guess it was good anyways.
Kenneth Rizea was the reason we started the damn quest in the first place. His mom had gone missing or something. Um...I didn't really think too much about him at first. He's a great artist, and no good with aircrafts and he sucks at dodging enemy fire. Really sucks. That's all I'm going to say.
Violet next. I didn't remember her at first, but it didn't matter because she didn't either. She was going through a bit of a memory crisis so I thought--rightfully too--that she was insane. But she was pretty helpful at the end. Pretty nice.
Um...
Peony: Maple-Ann Lewis?
Wen: Ah. Well. My first impression of her was amused irritation because she seemed so nice and gentle and stuff. But she's cool. Really.
Lastly, Archangel--I believe she's called Aeria now or something? Anyways, she introduced herself as The Lady Archangel. Again, amused irritation. She had all these airs about who everyone was and who she was and what not, but she was pretty easily outwitted. It's kinda funny too. She's not too bad. Too damn proud for her own good though.
Peony: And who among them would you think is your closest friend, if you had one?
Wen: Um..[pause, thinks, then laughs.] I'd say Kenneth. He's great to talk to or not talk to.
Peony: And how would you describe your relationship with Maple-Ann?
Wen: Friends. Good friends. I still visit her at Cieonna Halls every so often and she calls me up some evenings.
Peony: Nothing...more serious?
Wen: Your subtlety is worse than my healing ability, Miss Landernorm. No, there's nothing "more serious" going on between us.
Peony: I see... I am correct that you admire her though?
Wen: Yea. What's wrong with that? She can spit fire and heal someone at the same time, raze an army in 16 seconds flat and take care of herself. That’s almost better than me.
Peony:...
Wen: If you're trying to illicit a confession from me, you're not going to get it. Next question.
Peony: Very well. On the subject of your birth family, what do you think of them?
Wen: [laughs] My twin nothing like me. Really.
Peony:...in what regard?
Wen: She's fat.
Peony: [flinches]
Wen: But I know what you mean. She's a bit cowardly, but she's got some traits I think makes sense for her. Not for me, of course, but I can sympathize. [shrug] Somewhat.
Peony: What kind of traits?
Wen: Loyalty, I guess.
Peony: What about your parents and cousin?
Wen: My mom's so fucking cool! [laughs] But really. Evenette's misunderstood, but she's awesome. Really chill. Nem's a bit weird, but I like him enough. He's a bit of a treehugger though I think. Something along those lines. I'm glad they don't live together.
Peony: Your cousin Veraline Suis takes after your father though; what do you think of her?
Wen: I seriously think Vera was born in the wrong family or something. She's not a witch I guess, but her soul-sending abilities are pretty sweet. Scary too. And her mean streak takes after Evenette's.
Peony: You call your parents my name?
Wen: Well, Nem insists on it. Evvy and Vera call him Nem too. And Evenette just sounds better than "mom" or something. She doesn't seem the mom type.
Peony: Have you ever considered it might just be because you're unaccustomed to it?
Wen: ...Do you know what would happen to me if I called Evenette "mom"?
Peony: Do I want to?
Wen: Her dualcasting's stronger than Evvy's... and that's saying something.
Peony:...I think I'll pass.
Wem: Thought so.
Peony: [chuckles] Now, to pull away from the people in your life--
Wen: Finally.
Peony: --[laughs]. What do you think your favorite ship model would be?
Wen: Uh...I've been with my current one so long I think I'd have to say that one. A J16. With major upgrades. Back in the assassin days though, I liked the J24 as well. Sexy and fast. Not too shabby either; it's machines guns are decent but it needs more rockets. Something like the K60. But that's a bit fat for my style. The best part about the K60 is the swivel seat though. That thing's so fun to play with.
Peony:...A swivel seat?
Wen: [nods, grins]
Peony: I'll take your word for it, I suppose. And your favorite weapon?
Wen: Besides anything on my ship?
Peony: Yes.
Wen: My leth blade. It's this short knife thing that doesn't look too impressive, but I can shoot the blade out of the hilt as well. Really useful. I'm pretty proud of it. Of course, cleaning it out’s a fucking pain, but usually I can take care of my opponent within five blades.
Peony: What weapon did you use for melee combat before you built it?
Wen: Mostly handguns, any kind I can get my hands on. I’m a pretty accurate shot, if I do say so myself, so I had a few knives on me too.
Peony: Did you learn any other weapons during training?
Wen: Oh sure. I had a bit of a height advantage over most of the other kids my age, but I usually preferred longer-ranger weapons like staff, chain, mace. Didn’t like it too much out of training though. Too bulky to carry around and the chains were too clunky. I made a fair sniper as well, but again, too big.
Peony: Small and effective, I see.
Wen: Something like that.
Peony: I think that sums up what I wanted to ask. Do you have any sources I could go to for additional information?
Wen: Wait, what was your job again?
Peony:..I’m a journalist.
Wen: Professional lawful stalker, right, thought so. I’ll leave you to your own devices then. Hopefully your snooping tricks are up to the task.
Peony: [laughs] I understand. Anything else you’d like to add then?
Wen: Yea. This interview took so damned long I was able to think of about 98 variations of ways to kill you, even with all my talking.
Peony: [raises an eyebrow] Only 98?
Wen: That’s not including the 40-some ways involving my ship outside.
Peony: Well, you don’t exactly have access to your ship so they don’t count. 98 is pretty sad.
Wen: Actually, [pulls out a gadget from his pocket]
Peony: Never mind. Even so though. 138 isn’t too many ways. I was expecting at least 200.
Wen: [shrug] Sorry to disappoint.
Peony: You should be.
Wen: Any one of them would be more than sufficient though. And if I combined a few of them that’d be easily over 200.
Peony: On second thought, good job.
Wen: But yea, 138 is pretty lame for me.
Artist's Note: Hello there and welcome to the third and final edition of the little WenArch. Hope you enjoyed it!
Well..there goes my buffer of stories. That's quite ok though because the rules of this site only say 500+ words per week of whatever and I have a few other 500 word things that I could post that aren't exactly stories.
On life: College sucks. It's week one and I'm already neck-high in work. I have so much to do and even more that I want to do.
Comments? Questions? Please Read and Review! Thank you very much! :)
~Minerva Wu
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