09 June 2010


Title: Surprise

Author: Lewis
Writing: some sort of prologue
Word Count: 724

Chief Executive Alde Burnham slammed his office door shut in a huff, stalking to his sofa and reclining heavily on it. "Those inmates are really too much lately," he grumbled to himself. He began groping about in the darkness for the remote control, which activated the office lights. Having found it tucked between the sofa cushions, he then set about locating his briefcase. He flicked on the light switch. At the same time, his other hand came into contact with something quite warm and sticky. The room was suddenly flooded with light, and his neighboring seatmate on the couch was revealed. A shriek escaped his lips. He launched himself away from the couch, crashing against the low table set beside it in a painful heap. He averted his eyes from the gruesome carcass occupying the opposite side of the sofa and began to retch.

"Don't be so cold, Officer-- or should I say, Chief? I'd only intended it to be a housewarming gift. You've just been awarded a promotion and this office, after all." Burnham's uninvited guest drawled. He cocked an eyebrow at Burnham's cowed figure. "Although... as to how you got that promotion, I'll never understand."

"W-What are you doing here?" Burnham quavered, not daring to leave his huddled position. "I put you behind bars just a month ago!"

He laughed. "And what made you think that you were genius enough to put me there to begin with? You interfered with the investigation more than was necessary, and even complicated it further. And they made you Chief? My stomach still hurts with all the laughing I had to cope with after I found out about it."

"That has nothing to do with this!" the poor Chief managed to stand, wiping his hand disgustedly on his trousers. "Are you saying you let yourself get caught on purpose?" His voice rose in fury.

He shook with more laughter. "Maybe I did... maybe I didn't! Take it however you will. Would you like to know why I came to see you today, my dear Officer Burnham?"

"Yours are the ramblings of a madman! I'll put you back in prison, with one more crime to add to your record, and just like all the rest." Burnham drew a revolver from his pocket while backing away from his soiled sofa. "It's too dangerous to let cannibals like you walk freely."

Tophis Hayes was later taken into the prison morgue, dead from a gunshot wound to the temple. That night, hundreds of other inmates escaped from the prison, vanished like smoke while leaving heaps of slaughtered guardsmen behind. 

Artist's Note: ---

Not the Artist's Note: This is Lewis's writing that she asked Silver to post; according to the  part of a not yet fully developed plan for her NaNoWriMo Project. Due to some recent inconveniences, Lewis could not post herself so a proper artist's note (AN) will have to wait until Lewis edits this post :) Still, please read and review for her! :) 


Lyra said...

NaNoWriMo! I would do that, except I could never write 50K in a year, much less a month >< So good luck!

Regarding the prologue itself, I like the consistent tone of mystery and madness--even though I don't usually like mystery--followed by the revelation of the antagonist's name at the end.

I predict--if anyone is interested--that Burnham is going to be fired asa police chief, that a relative or inmate of Hayes is going to take revenge, and that the city is going to be chaotic.

Very nicely written. Hope things get better for you Lewis!

Lewis said...

Hahaha, you were right! Burnham does get sacked. I didn't really have that solidified when you commented here, but I instinctively finalized it later... probably because I don't like him so much. (he is the perfect scapegoat)

I'm worried about that 50k, myself. I have trouble getting 500 words (this ~700 is quite the feat for me), much less 1k ^-^; Well, I'll get there eventually.

Thank you for reading!

Lewis said...

oh, and keep in mind, though,
this is a world wide prison.
So the terrorism and destruction and whatnot will be worldwide. ;)

Minsat said...

Hey, I was wondering if I could edit this piece in my style and send it to you. I have zero creativity, but I get tons of inspiration on detail and diction and whatnot when I read a well-thought piece like this XD

So lemme know if I'm allowed to mess with it ;)

Lewis said...

Yes, by all means, go ahead! Good luck.